Marked- again…

…and i love it; i can’t descibe the heat, the warmth and the sheer, unmitigated excitement i felt, last night, when i took my cock and drew a ring around it, just under the head, for my lady, my mommy.

i’ve been little, lately- and ohh, i am loving it so. i never knew… i never imagined… never thought that i needed this, would want, crave this.

Thank goodness, my Lady, my Mommy, knows me as well as she does, because she’s made sure it’s been a safe, although certainly exciting, journey.

Knowing that shes been here, before me, makes it okay, makes it comfortable to explore, to learn and to wallow and revel in these feelings.

Total submission… totally yours…

Marked. Gladly.

On Courtly Love

  Well this has certainly been a long time coming, for not a whole lot of substance, and for that I apologize. I spent a fair amount of time looking through websites, seeking out things related to courtly love and D/s, in combination. I opted to post this here, because it seemed so fitting with Luna Vestales.

What I mostly learned, is that many of the scholarly types feel it’s really a literary artifice, a style, and not particularly something that developed spontaneously. Any implementation of the “rules of love” probably came about as a response to the writings, rather than the writings documenting the acts. That scholarly interpretation was minorly interesting, but not what I wanted to learn about. I wasn’t interested so much in the antecedents, but the more ‘romantical’ views of the whole thing. (In my mind, of course, I was putting the CL with the D/s, hence “whole thing”).

What did I learn? I learned that my initial impressions when you brought this up, were not too far off; Courtly Love, in my mind, and what I found, is a very stylized, very ritualized, way of allowing partners to share love, in a way that was acceptable to the individual’s social circle (aristocracy, The Court), and to the persons’ spouse- who most likely was just as involved in an amorous affair of their own, lol! Particularly in an era of politically strategic arranged marriages, the concept allowed for the expression of romantic attachments, hidden under a thin layer of formality and “proper” behavior.

General thoughts about what the formalized interactions were, very much follow the Rules Of Love referenced on just about every website I found- there is a LOT of repeat/reposting, in this area. For men, there is an emphasis on chivalry, on honor, on protecting his Lady, on doing heroic acts in her honor- in turn, the Lady would bestow her favor on her chosen one, allowing him, if he was lucky, to receive a glance, maybe a touch. In some accounts, the Lady would allow full “favor”, in others, the supplicant may never have even laid eyes on the Lady- but in all cases that I could find, the Lady is most definitely the one in charge of the direction and particulars of the affair.

Which segues nicely to the D/s aspect- for there is certainly an undertone of it, even if the things I located weren’t explicitly spelling it out. Consider the manner that a knight would approach a Lady, for instance; he would bow, or even drop to one knee; eyes down, reach for her offered hand, and one brush of his lips, while his Lady remained seated, or standing- very much in the power position.
Further, she would expect and receive in his speech and action, to be honored and obeyed: “Your wish is my command” is a common theme. “I will do all in service to my Lady”.. “I will defend her virtue and honor with my very life”. All designed to put him in a role of protecting her- but very much in the idea of paying homage to her, as well… for protecting her from others, doesn’t imply that he wouldn’t also protect her from himself, too.

What’s it all mean, to me? Damned if I know, lol. That was teasing- I do know, somewhat, and I suspect I’ll figure more out as we go along, too.

For me- it means, if you recall a chat we had a bit ago, when I was using the flowery language, the statements, the whole chivalrous references to you and about you- well, it means a fair amount of just that. There are things you have had me do, which I don’t hesitate to do, because it’s what a knight does for his Lady; and, you have rewarded me, with comments, with presents, with time- things that in this era, are the equivalent, I guess, of your color 🙂

 There is also a very strong feeling of wanting to “take care of”, too; I’m not sure that that’s so much the knight to Lady, or if it’s spilling over from knowing you’re also my princess, and somewhat my lil girl, too, now and then; but I guess I think that a knight would also have the obligation to care “for” his Lady, sort of, so I think in some way it still fits.

So… I’m not sure this is exactly what you had in mind, nor that it will please you or meet your goals- if not, you know that as always, your knight will happily and honorably accept whatever punishment is deemed merited.

As always I am Your Obedient Servant,

Mai Lady’s knight

Addendum:

I had to edit the original post as I couldn’t find a way to upload the image in a comment, and thought m’Lady would prefer this be kept with the original rather than a completely new post

M’Lady, your servant has the addendum assignment for your review; which because I had to edit the orginal post, not the comment, I am copying here:

1) Find an image that displays Courtly Love (credit it, please)
2) Post it here.
3) Explain why you chose that image and how it not only displays Courtly Love, but also D/s.

So, for you, Mai Lady:

First, the image is found at this site: http://faculty.pittstate.edu/~knichols/labelle.html approximately 1/3 of the way down the page.

Courtly Love

I found this one jumped out at me, in my searching through images, because it rather captures the idea of the knight/supplicant to his Lady, which is pretty obvious. But I also liked the formality of the poses, and the background- shield, and observer. Even the sword I thought well suited, as the knight would certainly have it available, to defend his Lady, yet while he is “with her”, it is very  properly set aside.

That element also picked up the D/s aspect, as well- again, his pose as submissive to her, but the implication that it is a willing and freely given submission seems to me to be carried in, as he could certainly choose, as a knight, a “man of action” to walk away.  Contrast that, though ,with the postion of his legs- he can’t just walk away, because he is showing very clearly his wish to please his Lady.

During our discussions, you had given me permission to expand on this, a bit, so I am going to take advantage of that indulgence and show you another image, that also jumped out at me. This one, I felt, was more directly speaking to the D/s themes. It’s less formalized, stylized- but still the knight is in a supplicant’s position, looking up to his Lady; kneeling before her, and I may be putting more than is there, but his expression is saying, “How can I please you?”. Obviously too, the image itself is more sexual, but I found that even the contrast of her partial nudity to his fully clothed, spoke to the relative importance of her pleasure, which she is going to receive first.

The image can be seen here:  http://www.femaleledrelationships.net/female-supremacy/Femdom-Courtly-Love.jpg

Courtly Love 2

 I do hope that this addendum is satisfactory to m’Lady, but as before, and as always, if there is anything which displeases you, make it known so I can do my best to make it right.

Your Obedient Servant,

Mai Lady’s knight

Mark

Dominance, and Submission. D/s. Who knew?

I have found, over the last few weeks- or months, I’m not trying to pin down a date- that I am enjoying more and more, playing with D/s. Mai Lady has been amazing, as she’s gently led me into more and more ways to explore, and expand my thinking. She’s done that in many ways, since I first met her, a couple years ago- but even moreso lately.

 One of the areas that she’s been instrumental in “allowing” me to explore (allowing, in the sense of making it okay with myself, I’m not always the best at remembering that there is no right or wrong, to how I “feel”), is my own occasional needs, and often desire, to be dominated, and how that feels, what it does to me, for me.

I didn’t realize what a fantastic thrill it can be, to give yourself over to another. To place your very self, your emotions, into the hands of another person- trusting that they are worthy of that trust- my God, what a fantastic feeling. Feelings, rather, because when I go into “subby” as Mai Lady refers to it, i have a mix of feelings, every time. Theres always anticipation, always excitement, to learn what She has in mind for me. There’s often a bit of apprehension, sometimes even a touch of fear- but always, every time, is the upswelling of just plain excitement.

A few days ago- in fact during the process of constructing our kingdom, here in Luna Vestales, Mai Lady instructed me to place her mark on my body. The instructions seemed so simple; in essence, what i had to do was this:

1. Go to the Luna Vestales toybox, and obtain a purple marker.

Rainbow Toys

2. Go to a place where i could use a mirror, to write backwards.

3. On my left nipple, place Mai Lady’s mark: “L’s”, to indicate Her possesion of me.

4. Take a photo of that, in the mirror, and send to Her.

Simple, right? Well, sortof. There were some logistics to overcome, such as at my work we don’t have private bathrooms, with mirrors accessible and nobody wandering in. (Do the mark in reverse on a post-it, to practice; then, in a stall, remove shirt and hold post-it above nipple, so by craning neck, can see just enough to write, if you want to know). The photo had to wait until i was home, and could use a bathroom mirror with some time and privacy; Mai Lady has posted it here: https://lunavestales.wordpress.com/2010/03/17/breakfast-on-the-balcony-veranda/

Much more difficult, was dealing with my emotions, and the knowledge that this marking would not be necessarily easy to keep private; because m’Lady and i are both married, but not to each other, there are certain other challenges that need to be overcome. So, i did have some thoughts of “how” this would play out; but, the incredible rush of knowing immediately that i would make it happen, was almost overwhelming. Instant excitement, instant pleasure, instant fear, all churning around in my belly.

Most definitely the pleasure was greater than the fears, though. The pen sharp on my skin, the ink smell, the angle and trying to see my own chest, all of this was pleasure- coupled with the knowledge that it would please Mai Lady, and that i was doing this under Her instructions, to obey-  my excitement was plain, had anyone been there to see.

Later, trying to get a photo, trying to explain to Mai Lady just how the mark was “burning”, in my mind, was also difficult. i still don’t know exactly what words to put to my feelings, or how to explain them. i haven’t grasped all the implications of this new area of exploration, of what this could mean both physically- when i obey my directions- and mentally, when the directions may be hard.

i do know this; that i am finding that switching, is a pleasure in itself. Being under the complete control of Mai Lady, is a wonderful, exciting, and fantastic thrill; completely opposite mental space, from the times when I have My princess; yet, a related and very exciting feeling.

Not a polished post, but perhaps it simply indicates how churned i still feel…